THE MOST TOXIC MOMENT I HAVE EXPERIENCED

Everything was increasingly uncontrollable…

/06.06.2016 /

It was a sunny June morning. Plans were made for breakfast in that wonderful weather the day before. Everything had never looked so normal or so I thought. How could everything suddenly go out of control on that green-filled Belgrade road leading up to breakfast? My partner was suddenly driving the car fast as if no one could stop her, and she got a hoarse voice from yelling at me. She was never in her right mind, our argument turned into a fight. The screams increased. She pushed me and I couldn’t stay idle either. I pushed her and “Pull your shit together, this is me, not your enemy!”, I said. She looked a bit calmer, and I took her word.

We sat in any restaurant on the forest road, on the edge of the greenery. We started to have breakfast. She was talking to me, at least she was looking normal. She started vomiting suddenly, she must have been very dizzy. She had summoned me to her side in a very good way. I went to her because it didn’t look good. He said, “Will you hug?” “I’ll hug you, are you okay?” as soon as I said, I felt an incredible pain in my stomach. My stomach was on fire. My eyes were darkened. As soon as I took my hand to my stomach, it was covered with blood. I couldn’t believe my eyes; she had a huge bread knife in her hand. I was heaped on the ground. I could not feel my body. I was just so thirsty… I could not move anymore. She was already gone. I wanted to sleep. Sleep…

—

It was a June morning. Plans were made for that breakfast the day before. Everything was starting to bother me. I was restless and I was full of anger, out of control on that green-filled Belgrade road to breakfast. My partner started screaming because I was driving too fast, and I got hoarse from yelling at her. I could never calm down, our argument turned into a fight. I screamed and shook her. I pushed her and said, “You will listen to my words, do what I want. Now shut up bitch!”, I said. After a while, I seemed a little calmer, and she followed my word. She believed me.

I pulled the car over to any restaurant on the forest road, on the edge of the greenery. We started to have breakfast. She wasn’t talking to me, and I started pushing her to talk to me. She suddenly started crying. But my eyes did not see her. “Will you hug?” she said. “I’ll hug you, wait!” As soon as I said, I stabbed the knife I bought from the restaurant owner when she did not see it, in her stomach. My eyes darkened. Her stomach was bleeding, her blood was smeared up to my hands. I hesitated for a while. My body was shaking like crazy. I was so stunned that I didn’t know what to do. I threw the knife in my hand to the ground. I got into my car and drove away quickly. I was driving so fast that I didn’t remember how I drove it. The blood on my hand smeared on the steering wheel. I couldn’t take the corner. I was gone…